Saturday, May 19, 2012

In My Daughter's Eyes...

I went to my last Mother's Day Tea on May 10th. Ok, not my last ever, but my last for a while. My children's elementary school does a Mother's Day Tea for the Kindergarten and Pre-K classes each year. I went to Sassy's Pre-K Tea, then her Kindergarten Tea, and then Diva's Pre-K tea. And now I have had my last Mother's Day Tea for a while with Diva's Kindergarten Tea since I will not attend another until Monkey is in school in a few years.

It was very cute and very fun. The kids sang, then joined us at the tables to show us all the gifts they had made. You can read all about them in my Mother's Day post that will be coming soon, but one gift really hit a nerve and I thought it deserved it's very own post.

The students each completed a fill-in-the-blank sheet about their moms. This is Diva's sheet:

Very cute, right? But I want to break it down piece by piece, because it shows you exactly how my daughter sees me as a Mom.

1) First of all, she apparently sees me as some Barbie doll. Ten feet tall and 52 lbs?! Really?! But do you know what? That just shows that SIZE DOESN'T MATTER to Diva. She has no real concept of size because it doesn't matter to her. It doesn't matter if I am short or tall, skinny or have some extra weight. She loves me for me, not my dress size or the fact that she will likely be taller than I am.

2) "She always says I love you." Awwwww. *melt* Really sweet, right? But do you know what makes me feel the best? That she didn't say "Stop doing that." Or "Please don't argue with your sister." Or "Your brother is perfectly capable of walking himself, you don't need to pick him up." Or "No." Or my personal favorite, "You are driving me crazy, GO sit quietly instead of bouncing off the walls!" Because I feel like I saw all of these things ALL the time. Always. But she remembers that I always say "I love you," not all the things I feel like I say most frequently.

3) She thinks that I like to eat spaghetti. I don't. Really. Spaghetti noodles are long and annoying. I adore pasta sauce and it is impossible to eat spaghetti noodles without ending up with little pieces of sauce on yourself from twisting and slurping noodles or having them slap you in the face as they dangle off your fork. I prefer pasta that is not trying to paint me and my clothes with yummy marinara. Like this:

THIS looks delicious. But I rarely make dishes with my favorite pastas because my children prefer to slurp and twist spaghetti noodles. Hubby also prefers spaghetti noodles. So the fact that Diva said that I like to eat spaghetti lets me know that my pasta sacrifice is worth it. Some day she will learn that there are other pastas that are better suited to other sauces, more ingredients, etc. But right now, I am ok with the fact that she thinks I like to eat Plain Jane spaghetti with Plain Jane sauce and cheese. We will branch out in the future, but this is ok for now.

4) "She cooks the best eggs." Diva is a LIAR. She hates my eggs. She loves her Daddy's eggs. I honestly don't know how he fixes them because I am usually busy with the waffle maker or making pancakes. I do know that he does not whip the eggs. Like how you put them in a bowls and whip the yolk and whites together with a little milk? Yeah, he doesn't do that. However he makes them keeps the yolk and white separated, so the finished product is a bunch of yellow and white pieces all mixed together. They are fluffy. They are yummy. And Diva will eat 6 eggs this way if we let her. But they are not MINE. She knows that she hates my eggs. But she LOVES when we do a big breakfast. She loves eating the waffles, fruit, bacon, and eggs. She knows that I am an intricate part of these big breakfasts and enlist her help in setting the table. No idea why she says that I cook the best eggs. I can only think that she thinks I cook the best breakfast (collectively) and that eggs are her favorite part. Or she just doesn't like what I cook and she was grasping for straws. Whatever.

5) My favorite thing to wear is NOT dresses. I prefer a comfy shirt and comfy jeans or capris with sandals. Diva's favorite thing for me to wear is dresses. She loves to play dress up and that includes loving to help me pick out clothes and accessories for me to wear. She loves when I am wearing a dress and always compliments me. And I love that in her mind she sees me wearing dresses, not the same pajama pants for for an entire weekend.

6) She had NCIS right. There are actually tons of shows I like, but Diva is too young to know very much about most of them. She latched on to the title of NCIS because she is currently obsessed with letters and words. She thinks it is funny that NCIS is a bunch of letters that do not make up a word. The fact that she picked out a show like NCIS instead of House, Grey's Anatomy, or some other show reminds me of the fact that she is growing up SO FAST and making connections about letters and words.

7) This next one cracked me up. I do love when Diva plays with her brother. I also love when Sassy plays with her brother. And I do get angry when EITHER of them drops their brother. Mostly because neither one of them should be picking him up now that he is a squirmy mobile hot mess. He doesn't want to be held, so when they try to pick him up and walk he will inevitably squirm and writhe until they lose their balance and everyone falls. Making me angry because we go through this scenario several times a day. But I love that Diva tried to put ALL the blame on her sister.

8) Can I say that I HATE the new Polly Pockets? They look like this:

The outfits are tiny little stretch rubber pieces with slits. And do you know what happens when kids are trying to pull them on the dolls? They tear. And then the kid cries. And begs for more outfits. And then the toy store makes lots of money.

But Diva knows that when I was a little girl, we played with REAL Polly Pockets. They looked like this:

They were AWESOME. They fit in your desk. I remember sitting in 3rd and 4th grade with these little suckers in my desk, trading them with friends, playing with them when I finished assignments early. Seriously, the old school Polly Pockets were great compared to the newer models that are made to tear into tiny pieces so you have to buy more. FYI- when you closed the cases and locked the, the old school Polly Pockets made great hockey pucks.

9) Ok, I don't know ALL about babies. But the fact that Diva thinks I'm a baby authority gives me hope. You see, no one ever talked to me in-depth about pregnancy and birth until after I had a baby. I know a few details of my own birth, but nothing about my mother's pregnancy or birth experience other than it was a very fast labor. I basically knew the end results of the pregnancies of the women in my life: how many kids, how many c-sections, etc. I knew VERY little going in other than what I had learned in the standard health classes and my human anatomy class. I've said before that if I had been fully aware of all the options out there and educated myself instead of going with the mainstream flow, I would have made vastly different choices. I have already decided that I will make sure my children are aware of birth options, all the risks and benefits. And no matter what their choice is and no matter what the outcome is, I will support them through it all. Diva already considers me an authority on the topic, so that should help to facilitate those conversations in the future and help her have positive birth experiences.

10) Finally, Diva hit the nail right on the head. If I could have one thing come true, it would be for time to freeze, even for a moment. My children are growing up too fast. I look at pictures from a year ago and think "That wasn't that long ago" while also thinking "Look at the difference, how much they've grown!" Time truly flies, especially with our children.

But I cannot stop time. So  instead, I will just have to go with the flow. Live in the moment as much as possible, focus on today while also planning for their future, and enjoy my children as they grow.

So there you have it. A snapshot of me as a mother, taking from the very adept eyes of Diva. How do your children see you? Do they also have a special insight into your soul that surprises you?

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