Lost my Beach Virginity

Yep, you read that right. I have LOST my Beach Virginity.

I bet you didn't know that this was a real thing, right? But it totally is. See, I am in a land-locked state. The closest beach is easily a 4-5 hour drive. Growing up, I went on ONE trip where the bus I was on drove by the ocean. I was about 12 years old and I swear that the beach and waves laughed at me as I passed it with puppy dog eyes.

Also, my family never went on vacations when I was a child. Like, no beach, no camping, no trips to the mountains, no amusement parks, etc. I went on a few school trips (like the one where the beach mocked me as I passed) and weekends with friends, but not an actual family vacation.

Mother's Day 2012

First of all, YES, I know that Mother's Day was 2 months ago and I am WAY late. But I have lots to talk about and lots to show you, so DEAL with it.

This year, I had a pretty rocking Mother's Day. And I have all the pictures to prove it. So be prepared to be PHOTOBOMBED!

10 Parenting Principles I Wish I'd Known: Episode Seven

7) You are Not Your Parents

Ok, so we have already went over how your children are not you in my last episode.

Now we are going to discuss how you are not your parents.

And I know what you are going to say:
"But, I know so many people who are JUST like their mom/dad!"
Well, that's great!

My point is: It doesn't have to be.

Platinum Boobies: A Double Edged Sword

So last week, my boobies went platinum.

And no, I'm not talking about this:

Shhhh...I've Been In Hiding

Hello All! I know I have been MIA for a while now. And I have a really good excuse.

I have entered the Wit-Sec program. Yep. Inspector Mary Shannon is my new BFF.

I also wax poetic with Marshall.

Yep. So that's been me. REALLY busy. Being snarky with Mary and clever with Marshall.

Ok, not really. I mean, I have been busy, but not hanging with Mary & Marshall.

I WISH. ~le sigh~

In all reality, I have been slammed. I had Mother's Day stuff, then end of school year stuff, then OMG I'M GOING TO THE BEACH stuff, then I had a workshop, and now I still have to fully unpack from the beach.

I have officially become one of those bloggers that have MILLIONS of ideas for blog posts, but just don't have the time to sit down and bring them to life. So I figure that the best thing to do is check in and let you guys know what I have in the works.

Coming Attractions

Mother's Day- Yes, I know that I'm over a month late to post about it. So what?

School Supply Cakes- I totally got my craft on and did school supply cakes for Sassy and Diva's teachers. Because I rock.

Beach- I had never been to the beach. My children had never been to the beach. So I have LOTS to tell you about the beach. These posts may take a bit, considering that I still haven't fully unpacked. Like, my trunk is still half-full. And I haven't even posted my pics to my FB. So...be patient.

Birthdays- There have been a few birthdays recently, so I will update you on who is older.

Workshop- I have a few ideas burning in my mind related to the baby food workshop that was last weekend. Not sure how they will play out, but just throwing that out there.

Father's Day- I feel obligated to do a post on this, since I will be doing a post about Mother's Day. Not that Hubby reads my blog, but I would feel guilty. Stupid Mommy Guilt is spilling over into Marital Guilt. What the crap?!

Boobies, Vaginas, and Babies- Yep, pretty sure I'll post at least a little about that.

So now that we are caught up at least a little, I'm going to check out again. Mostly because I have finished eating my lunch and need to get back to working since I am at work.

Oh, final thought. Tomorrow is West Virginia Day. I have tons of clients nationwide that I deal with through work and they always ask me what West Virginia Day is. So I will do my little part to educate the masses.

Here's a link to learn more about West Virginia Day. Consider yourself, as my father-in-law would say, Edu-ma-cated.

In My Daughter's Eyes...

I went to my last Mother's Day Tea on May 10th. Ok, not my last ever, but my last for a while. My children's elementary school does a Mother's Day Tea for the Kindergarten and Pre-K classes each year. I went to Sassy's Pre-K Tea, then her Kindergarten Tea, and then Diva's Pre-K tea. And now I have had my last Mother's Day Tea for a while with Diva's Kindergarten Tea since I will not attend another until Monkey is in school in a few years.

It was very cute and very fun. The kids sang, then joined us at the tables to show us all the gifts they had made. You can read all about them in my Mother's Day post that will be coming soon, but one gift really hit a nerve and I thought it deserved it's very own post.

The students each completed a fill-in-the-blank sheet about their moms. This is Diva's sheet:

Very cute, right? But I want to break it down piece by piece, because it shows you exactly how my daughter sees me as a Mom.

10 Parenting Principles I Wish I'd Known: Episode Six

6) Your Children are not You, Even if You Treat Them as if They Are

Ok, this one seems like a no-brainer, right? We've all heard about the parents that shove their child into football, ballet, piano, and yes, even Math-letes because that is what they excelled in and they want the same experience as their children. We've all heard about parents pushing their children to fulfill dreams that the parent did not accomplish. We've all heard about the parents that start their children on the fast track to the Ivy League when they are still busy trying to control their legs and pooping in their pants.

These parents are clearly the ones that forget that the their children's accomplishments are not a reflection on them as a person or as a parent. They project their own insecurities on to their child instead of accepting their child for who they are. They drive and put pressure on their child to clutch to every opportunity that they have to drive them towards goals that the parent wishes they had been able to fulfill when they had the chance back in their glory days.